I wasn’t going to post anything today.

All the topics that are currently sitting in my mind’s queue should probably be started earlier than 8:13pm at night. I’ve had too much coffee, too little water, and an adult beverage so as you can probably assume… I’m doing great. Plus, this room smells like dog farts thanks to two dogs that refuse to eat their prescription food and, therefore, a diet that consists of whatever-the-hell-I-can-get-them-to-eat-today. I think I’ll have another adult beverage. Wee!

I suppose since I’m drinking, I’ll talk about my life experiences with drugs and alcohol. Well, let’s leave it at alcohol for now. Because reasons. Is alcohol considered a drug? I think perhaps I read that one time. I’ll have to google it.

I was not a typical teenager. Don’t get me wrong… I had issues. I had childhood trauma and I went to therapy and crap like that. But I didn’t really rebel or socialize or have many friends. I never went to parties. I rarely asked to go hang out with the few friends I did have. I basically went to school and I came home and studied. I apparently was so unlike other teenagers, that my guardians thought there was something wrong with me and put me in therapy. You know what it was? I’ll give you a hint. I’m an introvert. I also have anxiety, and a lot of it. I just prefer to hang out by myself. I like being alone. It’s nice to occasionally go out and have social time with one or two (or even a few!) confirmed individuals, but I would be lying if I didn’t admit that every. single. time. I make plans with someone, deep down inside, I hope, wish, and pray, they cancel. I love my friends, and sometimes I really need social time, but there’s this bad bitch inside me that just screams “PLEASE CANCEL” every time I make plans. I don’t know. She won’t shut up.

I didn’t start actually drinking until college, thanks to my college roommate. She showed me the ropes. She also introduced me to gin, which at the time, I thought was a disgusting thing to put in your body. It was literally liquid pine tree. Who the fuck would drink that? I think most of the time I stuck to Mike’s Hard Lemonade, cause I was a classy college bitch. But to be honest, even in college, I didn’t drink much… compared to others. We had our moments, but it wasn’t a super drunk fest all the time. I just wasn’t that interested.

I moved to Oregon after college and still kept drinking to a minimum. I would have the occasional drink, but I never frequented bars. I didn’t love beer and I didn’t really love any liquors so there really wasn’t a “drink of choice” for me. Wine has aways been an okay choice… but white or rosĂ©. I can’t do red. I can’t drink it without making that face (you know what I’m talking about). And that, folks, pretty much sums up my booze life… for years… until I started working at the liquor store.

To give you a time frame, I moved to Oregon in December 2004. I lived there for 13 years! WOW. I started working at the liquor store in June 2014. So, my life was p r e t t y b o r i n g for 10 years, eh? Nah. I had good times. Alcohol isn’t the answer, people! But it IS fun. And working at the liquor store was indeed as fun as it sounds. It was so fun, in fact, that I’ll probably end up doing more posts about working there. Top 2 most favorite places to work EVER. Terrible bosses ruin everything.

When I got hired, I literally knew nothing about alcohol. I think I had stepped foot into a liquor store maybe twice before. I didn’t know the sizes of bottles (what’s a fifth?), or the different names (handle?), and I especially knew nothing of brands and types of liquors. Especially especially what they tasted like. How the bloody hell was I supposed to sell this stuff? Lucky for me, liquor basically sells itself! Occasionally, you’ll have the customer that comes in for a recommendation, but there are enough regulars and people who know exactly what they want, that you just have to be there to take their money and restock the shelves. There was also enough customer/employee chit chat going on that I was able to eavesdrop on other people’s conversations, so I learned quickly what to properly recommend if asked.

Because Oregon has state controlled liquor sales, we did not get an employee discount. Sad face. But we did sometimes get “breakage.” These were bottles that were messed up somehow; fucked up labels, broken caps, broken bottles, etc. and could not be sold to the public. The state would come in a write these off and then we would “throw them away.” Obviously, the ones that still had liquor in them and were perfectly fine other than a messed up label or a broken cap, we would keep. After awhile, the employees would divide up the stash and take what they wanted. Free liquor! And this is how my liquor collection was born.

My baby liquor collection, when it very first started. The cabinet underneath soon became full of bottles, too. It got BAD.

After a few months, I realized that I needed to up my game. Customers would ask me for recommendations and eavesdropping would only get me so far. So, I started buying my own liquor. I would buy random things I wanted to try, stuff I knew was popular and wanted to try, and also liquor that might come in handy for future use (aka a lot of liqueurs). **Side Note: The liqueur thing was a bad move. Most of my bar stock right now consists of liqueurs leftover from this time in my life. I can’t get rid of them. No one wants them. I don’t use them. My best advice for anyone: NEVER BUY AN EXCESSIVE AMOUNT OF LIQUEURS. End Side Note.**

It’s a shame I never had my life together enough to get a proper photo of all my liquor together as a happy family. This mess is the best I have.

Buying my own liquor gave me three things: It gave me the ability to try new brands/types of liquor and, therefore, give appropriate recommendations to customers; it gave me the ability to figure out what I liked; and it gave me such an extensive liquor collection at home that I basically had a full bar… which made my house, the house. LIQUOR STORE PARTIES! We had a good team; we all worked well together and we partied well together. We were all friends. There was very little drama. Shocking, I know. But, it was a good team. We fit well together. That’s hard to find in life. I still have group text messages on my phone that I refuse to delete because I don’t ever want to forget that time of my life. And honestly, there are big chunks I did forget because I experienced black out drunkenness on several occasions, but that’s maybe a story for another time. Everclear jello shots? Don’t do it. Bad choice. Take my advice!

I only worked at the liquor store for a year, but it was one of the best years of my life… and I don’t say that lightly. I met some great people, I made a few lifelong friends (one who I consider to be a best friend *flame*), I realized my love for working in the liquor industry (I’d do it again in a heartbeat), and I still have a stupid amount of alcohol because, of course, I’ve reverted back to my boring old ways of rarely drinking. But possibly the most important thing that came about from my liquor store days was this: GIN IS NOT A DISGUSTING LIQUID PINE TREE. It’s actually a very good liquor, and it’s become my favorite liquor. You just need to know the right things to mix it with to complement the flavor. You’ll be happy to know, I discovered my “drink of choice” and that’s a gin greyhound: gin and grapefruit juice. If you haven’t tried it, I highly recommend you do. Grapefruit juice complements gin really well. Way better than tonic, because fuck tonic. That shit is disgusting.

Celebrating my 31st birthday at my most favorite place on Earth (at the time). That’s a genuinely happy Megan.

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